Time slips away

I can't beleive its been over 2 weeks now since Elijah's first birthday.  I can't beleive I haven't posted anything since then!  That morning we went to the cemetery and decorated with some birthday items and visited.  After that we went to church.  Most people at church didn't know what to say to us so they didn't say anything at all.  One sweet women whispered Happy Birthday Elijah to me as we were greeting each other and that meant so much!  Of course it caused tears the rest of the service but it was worth it.  After church we decided to have a pic nic at the park where the local Angel of Hope statue is and where we had a brick dedicated in Elijah's honor.  Gabrielle was the one who picked lunch so of course we had McDonalds!  It was beautiful outside.  After we left the park we picked up some balloons and we each wrote messages on them.  We later released them all together at our home.  We also picked up a small cake and had that as well before I took Gabrielle out trick or treating.  We felt like we make special memories on his first birthday and overall it was a special day for us.  It was very strange that evening.  While walking Gabrielle around to a few houses all I could think about was last year and everything that was transpiring.  Elijah was born in the evening so it was hard being out that night.  I don't think that will ever change.  I am so thankful for those that remembered his birthday and sent us encouraging notes or reminded us how much Elijah had touched their lives as well.  

Elijah's birthday project is coming to a close!  We have so many items to be donated to the group with in the Nicu that helps families who are going down the same journey as us.  I hope that these items will last forever but in reality I know that more families will use them then I would ever want to imagine.  We have plenty of items to furnish the room where families will be able to spend some quiet and personal time with their babies.  On top of the items we will also be able to make a monetary donation as well.  I am so happy with the support that we have had in this and been surprised at how many people wanted to help.  I know when we bring all of the items up to the hospital it will be a hard day.  Not only will it be hard being there in the Nicu and knowing what these items are going to be used for but all of the time and work we have put into this project will be over.  Elijah's birthday celebration in a sense will be over. 

Its so strange that all of the year anniversaries of all these dates have passed.  It doesn't feel like that much time has passed.  Some days I feel like my greif is as fresh as it was on November 1st and then other days I look back and see how far I have come. I will always go through each day missing my son.  I will always have a void in my family here on earth and a ache in my heart but I will always hold on to that hope in heaven and know that one day...one day there will be no more tears, no more pain, no more sorrow and I will be reunited with my son once again!  That is what we hold on to.  


Below is a picture of the memorial brick at the Angel of Hope statue.